Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Chasing Clarissa

Clarissa was bright, vibrant, electric when we met. She’d been at an office party and had clearly had a couple of drinks, a tinge of flush to her face, animation in her manner, eyes sparkling. She was, in short, even more stimulating than I remembered her from class.

As we drank and listened to the jazz naturally my words (and hands) became wider, more expansive.

You’re leading me along, like a fox’ she said -- but didn’t stop me. And indeed her talk was sexual and her body language mirrored mine. So we had a good evening of it. She enjoyed my flattery and attentions, and it seemed to be going well to me, though several times she told me she was faithful to her husband. Now the mere fact she said this was a clear enough sign she knew what was in the offing. And when she went on to tell me that she let her husband think she was a virgin on their wedding night, my hopes rose.

Letting him think this was not a lie, she said, since he did not ask and she did not, thus, deny. But still it was a crack into which I felt I might drive a wedge.

Smart as she is, of course she knew this when she told me.

Later, the more I thought it over, the more I was inclined to wonder if I had not been played, and played with some expertise at that. If I was, it is no matter, for after all I was playing a role too, and if she was indeed playing me, I was content to be played.

Yes, she was good. ‘I’m going to go home, have a bath, and wait for my husband to come home in the morning.. and maybe fuck me.’ Now there’s a rare thing to hear – such verbal directness is rather rare in Chinese women. Yes, they will be emotionally direct, but even then their words are often couched in more delicate terms.

I played along with Clarissa’s provocativeness in, I guess, a pretty obvious way – ‘How about some pix?

No way!’ she said, before telling me that they had taken pix, and a film, of their lovemaking. A sexy woman altogether! But even with this fire she tried to bank and ebb my ardor, telling me she was happy with this husband, and that they were good together in bed. I asked why she had married so young – she is around 24 – she said, sexy smiling, ‘To save the cost of going to hotels all the time!

As the jazz wound down and the crowd thinned I noticed a hooker trying to close a fat Westerner on the table next to me. She was past her prime and I doubt he had ever been in it; and her play-acting, now loving, now cold, now happy, now hurt, was pretty risible.

But she saw me looking and flashed me a smile of complicity –‘Yeah, this fat slob ain’t much, is he?,’ her glance said. And I was briefly taken in, briefly felt a sympathy for her in her unhappy lot, before the clarity of the corollary meaning of her glance stuck me in all its obvious truth – she was trying to establish a tie with me in case it did not work out with fat guy, for then I might be her night’s fee.

When it was time to go, Clarissa at first wanted to go alone, but I said I would drop her home and then go on my way. ‘I know what you want’ she said, and of course she was right.

By chance her home is near Gloria’s, and, as we headed there in the cab, past the familiar buildings and territories of my relationship with Gloria’s, this restaurant, that coffee bar, I did feel a slight sense of melancholy at the upset I caused in her life and the messy, astonishing way our relationship ended (I shall write it up in due course.)

But of course I did not stay melancholy for long. Saying ‘Come here,’ to Clarissa, I drew her to me for a cuddle, which she allowed, gladly. Naturally I caressed her, and this too was okay. As also were one or two kisses, but not too much of that, for she pulled away. I eased her back and she lay in my lap. Then I erred, blowing in her ear. Earlier, in the bar I had caressed her earlobe and the effect was strong.. she arched, and said ‘Don’t.. that makes me…’ These words of course had the opposite effect, making me all the more keen to caress her there.

But now in the cab that soft puff of air in her ear was too much, and she pulled away, a scalded and no longer sexy cat; and indeed was quite irate, for when I put my arm to her again, it was ‘NO!’ and ‘DON’T’ in tones increasing peremptory and strident.

I let her cool awhile and tried again. She had not cooled. The opposite. So this riled me a bit – no one shouts at me, I thought, in my semi-drunk choler (for I can be a dyspeptic, arrogant fuck when the beer takes me a certain way and my pride is dented) – and so I became insouciant, detached (a mistake I was later to make with Tingting, though that mistake is now healed, forgotten, and she is back in my life).

My cool goodnight to Clarissa was met with, ‘Now I’ll see what you’re really like.’ In saying that, she was referring to conversation earlier in the evening.

In that conversation, she had told me she had avoided meeting me in person thus far, preferring to keep our acquaintance net based. Why? I asked. ‘Because if we met, I knew what you would want.’

Quite right. And I admitted it; ‘Yes, to be truthful, I do want that..

You admit it?!

Yes, but that’s not all I want.. I like you a lot and enjoy your company even if we don’t…

She was doubtful.

Well, you will be able to tell … if nothing happens tonight and I never call you again,’ I said.

Hence her parting shot, hence that ‘We’ll see what you’re really like.’ She meant that if fuck was all I wanted, she would not expect to hear from me again, but that if my claim of liking her company was true, I would keep in touch.

I remember as I rode home in the cab thinking, What am I really like? I could not decide for sure. That night, I blocked her chat profile and was inclined to leave it so, for I felt she was playing me and wanted an admirer, preferably rich and definitely hands off; which was no role for me.



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36 comments:

Anonymous said...

What the fuck is this story ?
Are you running out of your sources ?

You can write better than this shit.

Anonymous said...

can these woman actually speal English?
apart from saying no of cause...

Anonymous said...

Come on man! Chinabounder,

Don't let me down.

nav said said...

hey chinabounder
are you in China? listen to me mate, if you just wake up and make a little bit more effort to navigate, you may realise that Leicester Square is only around the corner, really.
try it mate...

bmpc said...

In China, all students have to study English from fairly young age, since it so called "international language".But ,few people can speak good English.They also know little of western culture. If talking about western world, the first thing they would think is"sleep around", in order to catch up with "international speed", they began to sleep around and ONS.They know some English but they are extremely ignorant. They didn't know East or West,sleeping around is not a good thing any way. They didn't keep the traditonal virtues, they didn't learn the core of western culture either.they are women who slept with this old, ordianry looking,lying british guy. Sadness not only for the poor British, but for the poor girls.

BounderFan said...

Bounder, see those nattering nabobs of negativity who naysay your nocturnal nailing of nubile and naive nu-ren? Illigitimus non carborundum!

Anonymous said...

Chinabounder,

As a Chinese woman I am not going to criticize your actions or the actions of the women you sleep with. I believe as long as these actions are legally allowed by law: your blog in this sense is a great entertainment and eye opener. But I must add, there is a fine line between consenting seduction and coercive seduction on the borderline of rape. The line is pretty thin. I mean, what if one of the women you had sex with did it in a matter of confusing passion she would later regret? What if she decides to sue you? Some of the tactics you've described in seducing women are on the borderline of coercion, even if it's not purely physical coercion.

But what I really want to comment is your disgusting attitude against the Chinese men. They are completely false, just flat out wrong. Reasons follow:
(1) You're obviously not a guy with lots of guy friends: this may be a genetic thing or perhaps you happen to be more inclined to have chit chats with girls in China. I don't think you have too many Chinese guy friends, therefore you simply do not know them, so why make false and ridiculous comments about the Chinese men in order to boost your ego in such a pathetic way. You're already white, are you still insecure?

(2) It definitely seems that only women in unhappy relationships seeking comfort happen to talk to you, so the tales of Chinese men you hear from them are going to be bad-- if you ask any unhappy Western women about their men, it'll paint an equally ugly picture of Western men. Also, you must be aware that most Chinese women see you as a god-- oh the fascination with this white man-- wouldn't it make sense that she might exaggerate her relationship to please you-- or to please herself in front of you. You're in a position of privilege and power purely because you're white, so perhaps you don't quite see the possible elevation of status these women seem to want to obtain by sleeping with a white guy... and you fully utilized your skin's privileges. This has nothing to do with your penis size or powerfully caring personality. Please wake up.
(3). You also over generalize Western men as if you're their representative. You're not, whether you're an asshole or a great lover, you do NOT represent the West. There are shy western men, western men who think women are properties, wesern men who won't have sex before marriage (religion!) and western men who only want a certain race, certain type of women. There are plenty of impotent western men with tiny penises.


Please leave Chinese men out of this. Unless you make some intimate close friendships with Chinese men and really hear their stories, you do not have the right to write about them!!! But I really don't think you have the ability to make real friendship with someone without thinking about sex. Which sadly, is a sign of your immaturity MOST people get over with by the time they hit a certain age. Apparently, you missed that opportunity in Europe, and you are just now making it up.

bmpc said...

To the Chinese woman,

"You're already white, are you still insecure? " Does white skin bullet-proof? weird thing to ask.Unless you are a racist.

"you must be aware that most Chinese women see you as a god"---I am a Chinese women, white man is just another human being, what God? I think Oprah is God, she is black. Disgusting thing to say.

When you talk to a liar, a cheater, a piece of shit,do you have to kneel down?

Hesiem said...

Keep on going !

I enjoy reading your blog... Reminds me many stories when I was single.

bmpc said...

BounderFan said...
Bounder, see those nattering nabobs of negativity who naysay your nocturnal nailing of nubile and naive nu-ren? Illigitimus non carborundum!
-----------------------
What a loyal fan! who wants to fuck around like british villain did.probably an obese fat ass, the only thing you can do is dream with slobber drooling all over the keyboard.

Anonymous said...

fuck you asshole.i wish you would get aids someday.YOU big loser get the fuck out here

Anonymous said...

get your fat ass and your dirty cock out of the country

BounderFan said...

BMPC, ya got me. I don't know who told you my secret but indeed I'm obese, balding, too broke to afford a ticket back home from China so I share a 2 room flat without even hot water with four other losers. I'm immature and spend every night whacking off while reading about Bounder's exploits with the local ladies.

Well, I don't whack off to this blog every night. Sometimes for variety I think back to when I used to bugger your father while your mom waited to lick my knob clean. You pop still leting his back hair grow? He always did like to leave it long so I'd have something to hold onto while I pumped away. And your mom could suck the chrome plating off a trailer hitch.

Anonymous said...

You stupid jerk!You hypocrite!You damned bastard!You beast!You SOB !
dip,go back to your Brit to fuck ur mother!

Anonymous said...

女人,若不需要被照顾,请明示;若需要被照顾,请服从到能平衡照顾。
又需要照顾又不服从到平衡又不明示的,就是骗子,骗子不配被尊重,不配谈平等,只配被将计就计。
所以,兄弟,你将计就计之前至少要搞清楚她们是不是骗子。

Anonymous said...

u fuck chinese girls in china, and ur mother is fucked in Brit. so are the brit girls. it's fair.

ChinaBounder said...

Anonymous said…But I must add, there is a fine line between consenting seduction and coercive seduction on the borderline of rape.

Thank-you for your thoughtful comment.

Coercion is a difficult matter. It is indeed hard to define. Is a nice dinner at a nice restaurant a from of coercion? Of course it is. But naturally I do not think I am coercive enough to bring my actions anywhere close to rape. And I do always give the woman plenty of chance to back out. Every time I have been with a woman, in bed, about to make love for the first time, I have said, ‘if you want to stop, you can.’ And I have meant it.

As for suing, I believe that as far as mere sex goes one cannot sue. Of course a paternity suit would be a different matter.

Yes, of course some women may later regret their actions. But everyone does things they regret, and, after all, sleeping with the wrong guy is not so very terrible.

But what I really want to comment is your disgusting attitude against the Chinese men. They are completely false, just flat out wrong.

You argue well and there is a lot of truth in what you say. Yes, my friends are mostly men, not women, and so you are well within your rights to call me on it. You are also wholly right to point out that since I seem to talk to women in unhappy relationships, I will have a skewed perspective.

But as I have mentioned in my blog, I often ask my classes about this, and 70% of women or so do tell me Chinese guys lack passion. Bear in mind that this is 70% of a whole class, not just 70% of a group I have selected, of a group that has selected me. and these groups are not undergraduates alone, but range from high school pupils to senior managers.

Also I often talk about the type of cultural preconceptions you mention here in my classes. The general opinion seems to be the Western guys are more fun, more passionate, more creative – and much less trustworthy, decent, and honest. And Chinese guys are rather undemonstrative, passionless and stodgy – but much more reliable, trustworthy and family-oriented. Generalizations, of course, should never be believed wholesale, but often hold a grain of truth.

And perhaps you knew the special reputation Shanghai men have. They are held to be somewhat effeminate. Among the male friends I do have, I find northern guys to be much more interesting than southern guys.

You're in a position of privilege and power purely because you're white

You are correct. And this is grossly unfair, as I have mentioned in various entries. Yes, white guys get better treatment, higher salaries and more respect than local guys. It is wholly offensive. But what should I do? Should I ask for a lower salary to put me on a parity with locals? Would you?

.. If you ask any unhappy Western women about their men, it'll paint an equally ugly picture of Western men

Once more you are unquestionably right. But I am not in the West, I am here; and so this is what I write about.

But I really do think Chinese women get a worse deal from their men that Western women do from their men. Look at the suicide rates here – 55% of total global female suicides take place in China. What does that tell you? And what about the numerous acid attack, stabbings and poisonings and beatings men inflict on women they held to have humiliated them? Only one powerful woman politician Wu Yi, and few women business leaders. From time to time in class I will say, ‘How long until China has a woman leader?’ The class roars with laughter at the very idea of such a thing. Chinese guys, again and again, want their women to be less educated, less successful and less equal.

I admit to all the negative things you say about my character. While I do not think I am emotionally shallow, no doubt I am emotionally immature, certainly as society judges maturity. And, sure, out here I am taking advantages of chances I never had in Europe.

In these flaws I do not represent the West.

But I do represent a type of Western guy who is rather common in China – not that in any way I am trying to say ‘they all do it, so that makes me less rotten.’ Today’s China is crawling with guys like me, but most of them are operating under the radar.

Your comments are well thought out and you make points I will consider carefully. But, for all the others who comment just to leave abuse (the merit of which I do not deny), do remember that I am not at all an oddity. Feeling angry at me is akin to venting spleen at one bus driver (such as that fucker blaring his horn outside my window right now) while ignoring the other thousands behind him.

Jolene said...

at the very beginning, I came here for fun. but after reading several articles on your blog, I got sth new and interesting.(not about the stories of your women, for being a woman, I still don't like your attitude and I think you would understand=) )

as an expat here in China, you give out some fresh opinion towards the whole country, culture, system... like how they work in company, how some Chinese people react towards Japanese stuff... I like it. Maybe there would be more people care about all those stuff and try to understand things from a different side since they read your blog.

I don't have the right to judge here and I know some guys personally who are also from foreign countries and doing similiar thing, but still curious about one thing. for me, the fair game is both of you and the girl/woman know the rule of the game and accept it, or else it probably not fair to the other one. Don't you sometimes think maybe you are kind of unfair to some of them?

bmpc said...

BounderFan said...
I'm immature and spend every night whacking off while reading about Bounder's exploits with the local ladies.

Well, I don't whack off to this blog every night.
-------------------------
70%+ of your population is obese. You don't have to tell me how correct I am, I knew I was right.
You are not only a fat ass,but a stupid ass. You date your MS.plamer every night or not? Make up your mind before you say it.
No wonder your PM becomes the puddle, look the stupid british people.

Anonymous said...

BMPC: Tell your mom that my pals and I will be by at the same time this Saturday for a bit of the in-out-in-out and that she should remember to shower at this week or we won't pay her usual fee of 7 jiao for the 4 of us. Just because we are fat stupid Brits does not mean that we don't have standards!

Anonymous said...

british fat ass=dreamers? your mom is there for you whatever you want and free.Don't wait too long, in case she has business rush hour.You can get anytime you want, but your pals, may not.
Your fat ass.

Anonymous said...

What you people miss is that nothing about Bounder's situation is unique to China. His success comes from 1) high libido (I'd bet on 20 attempts for every success we read), 2) reasonable gift of gab, and 3) curiosity about the Other, so there's really no need to lambaste the guy. I've been applying ideas derived from his posts to "CBCs" in the US with good success, and can report from experience that most women will jump at the chance to bring a bit of excitement to life. Who can blame them?

bmpc said...

Nobody cares about the sex. Those women were willingly to be fucked,nobody can do anything about it.

His problem is his attitude to China, He thinks he's superior to Chinese in fact he is a trash. He criticizes almost everything of China who doesn't even know much.

Anonymous said...

hey how's goin loser?who did you fucked last night

Anonymous said...

BITCH

Anonymous said...

Fuck ur bitch mum and sister.
Get out China,sucker!

Anonymous said...

hi

I am currently a student in Canada and after reading your 'diaries',I'll have to say you are the worse western guy I've ever heard of...

Screwing anyone is your human right...screwing someone else's wife is a sin, man..

On the other hand, Chinese girls made themselves 'cheap' and I as a chinese girl sometimes am ashamed..

I feel bad for them and I also feel bad for you...you need to find your true love and stop all these 'fun'

Anonymous said...

You are son of bitch
You stupid jerk
You asshole
You bastard,bullshit,motherfucker..

In fact,I want to say:cao ni ma bi

ChinaBounder said...

Anonymous said...I am currently a student in Canada and after reading your 'diaries',I'll have to say you are the worse western guy I've ever heard of...

I am nothing special. I am not uniquely bad, or wicked; I am but indifferent honest. I am merely one of a rather large group of expats in China and other Asian countries who behaves in this way. My one tiny distinguishing characteristic might be that I am writing about it online. But really what I do is a very common story. Not that I seek to exculpate myself from your criticism in any way by that comment.

Screwing anyone is your human right...screwing someone else's wife is a sin, man..

The concept of sin is a purely human construction. Sin is a matter of opinion. I do not share your opinion.

I assume here you are talking about my relationship with Tingting. She is a highly educated woman, sensitive and articulate. She is in an unhappy marriage. Would you rather she stays unhappy, she gets divorced (with all the pressure that entails), or finds some joy with me?

On the other hand, Chinese girls made themselves 'cheap' and I as a chinese girl sometimes am ashamed..

This is a curious attitude. Why should you be ashamed for what other Chinese people do? Why can you not see beyond the idea of `being Chinese’ and be an individual? You have no more need to be ashamed of what you perceive as a Chinese person acting in a bad way (though I dispute that they are) than a Muslim has any need to be ashamed of the people who attempted the recent terrorist attacks in Britain.

I feel bad for them and I also feel bad for you...you need to find your true love and stop all these 'fun'

True love is an illusion, a chemical fairy tale. The words ‘Happily ever after’ only exist on the page, not in the heart. Yes, love can be real, deep, even true; but the idea of ‘the one,’ of the only true love – that’s the lie. If you marry to the illusion of true love, you will wake to sorrow.

Anonymous said...

chinabounder, being a westerner here in China, I am living the same joyful life as yours. I just don't have time to write.

Great job!!!

Anonymous said...

you meant great ass,right?

lifesuck said...

ok, i m a SH boy, i dont oppose ONS, it ll be fine if u hook up gals from pubs, but being a teacher, u dont take 'em to ur bed. show ur respect and moral to ur asian students as being a Briton plz!!!

ChinaBounder said...

Lifesuck said…ok, i m a SH boy, i dont oppose ONS, it ll be fine if u hook up gals from pubs, but being a teacher, u dont take 'em to ur bed. show ur respect and moral to ur asian students as being a Briton plz!!!

There is no moral difference between the two cases you mention. The students are all adults, all capable of free will, and only get involved with me after I have ceased to be their teacher. I presume you are basing your argument on the Confucian idea of the teacher as superior and to be honored. This is an attitude that has done great harm to China’s education.

Anonymous said...

If you think that Chinabounder sucks, then hope more people to know about him.
If you think what ChinaBounder wrote is acually what happened in Shanghai and China, and hope more people to aware about it.

Translate it into Chinese.
send it to chinabounder.chinese@gmail.com
We will post it over
http://chinabounderinchinese.blogspot.com/index.html

Anonymous said...

死老外,妈的,你以为你是谁!

FUCK!

Anonymous said...

Good Job! You see the article about you in the paper (or web based paper). It’s good PR as they say in Hollywood. To you haters I see it as constructive criticism.

If you’re dumb enough to fall for his "shit" game then you are fair game. Why should Chinabounder be accountable for the stupidity of the Chinese girls that fall for his trap. Corrosion is not the same as rape. If the women are adults, regardless the writer teacher status, it’s fair game. Be accountable for your own actions. Don’t open your legs!!

Try tackling the root of the problem such as talking to these so called victims about the pitfalls of "sexual freedom," before you start call them victims. Better yet maybe our writer is the real deal, "big pimping" and the women are just after some good dick. Just because our writer is getting some sex and you complaining bitches are not, don't hate.

Here is the next topic for your blog Chinabounder “The Inability of Chinese to Connect Problems and Blame: the solutions are within.”

-The opinion of an ethnic Chinese observer