Sunday, July 23, 2006

Cheat meets Cheat

And such chances there were. Mona showed herself quite a good player, giving me several opportunities to suggest seeing her, rather than asking directly (for that would make her seem too forward.)

Mona. hi, how r u?

Me. fine.and u? do anything exciting since i chatted to u? busy today, or i would have called u and come over to help u move

Mona. it is ok .some of my classmates came and helped me.ty all the same:).and i am wondering if u could visit my new apartment when u have time.(mp) ,in ur last class,u asked us to describe a film.what tense should i use to describe it.past simple or present tense?

Me. i would like to see ur apartment! maybe next week, when i have more free time. for the film, either tense is ok, and long as u use the same tense for the whole answer. but simple past is a little bit better

Mona ok and if u have more free time,i would like to meet u at the coffee. chatting to u ~

Mona. i see

Me. i'd like that... i think u'd be a lot of fun to spend time with

Me. u seem to be quite unusual in some ways

Mona. maybe i am.but why do u think so ?

B. firstly, u like to live alone. that shows maturity and independence, which most ppl ur age lack.

Me. then, u are very self confident... look how quickly we have become friends. that's also quite unusual

Me. say u are bold, strong willed, confident

Mona. thank you and u r a good man too.homurous and sexy.ur class is very interesting.and maybe u don't know how much we enjoy it. and by the way ,u have just given me some more words to describe a people(F)

Me. oh,ur too kind!


She's a modern woman, and she quite well knew what inviting me over to her apartment meant. Sure, it could have meant just friendship, or even that she wanted to test out her power; but by her demeanor in class and other actions I was confident it was more than that. And so this conversation was seduction mixed with schooling. I flattered her some, because everyone likes to hear they are unusual, unique, special (though even so there was much measure of truth in my words.) She is bolder than her peers. And her words to me, humorous and sexy? Of course she flattered me as much as I her – and, I guess with, the same goal in mind.

And so we set a date, a date I chose with some care, for though I had plenty of daytimes free, afternoons and mornings were not appropriate for my plans, which called for an overnight stay. Sure, we’d agreed I was going to see her flat; but really, I was going to see her bed, and her body. And also we agreed we would cook together, since at one point I mentioned how much I liked shopping at the city’s wet markets (one of the many pleasures of life here, being able to buy live fish, crabs and shrimp, chicken and duck, and being able to select from a vast array of vegetables.)

Sure, I could have taken her to a restaurant, but cooking together would, I knew, have its seductive qualities just as a restaurant has its. But also I had a wider goal here, which was to film our buying trip to the wet market, as part of the ‘this is my life’ film I was making for the folks back home.

Now at this point in my life I was still involved with Gloria, the woman I stole from her boyfriend, and she had been very keen to help me with this little project. But naturally I was not so keen on that, and did not want her too much on the tape, for just the same reason she wanted to be on it – that is, that it would show her a big part of my life.

I was getting rather bored of her, keen to end our relationship but not quite firm enough to do it, for doing so, I knew, would hurt her. So for example around this time she needed to go to hospital for some minor elective surgery, and I accompanied her there, arriving at around 9 a.m. Even though we’d arrived pretty early, the doctor had already gone to surgery, having begun his day (the one day a week he did operations) at half six. Chinese hospitals are not run efficiently enough to have an appointment system; the patient must just turn up and take pot luck.

Now Gloria had booked the day off from work, and her thought was that now we could spend it together, given that she was not going to get the operation. But I really did not want to spend a whole day with her, and so I got out of it by saying that while of course I did want to spend the day with her, she probably ought to go back to work. After all, I said, she would now need to book another day off to try to see the doctor the following week and her boss would wonder why, if she had not seen the doctor this day, she had not come back to work.

I remember this clearly because, later that day when I messaged her to say I felt bad about suggesting she go back to work, she replied that in fact she had been moved by the level of care this showed I had for her. And so what had been a ruse on my part to get out of spending the day with her appeared to her as a gesture of love. We see what we want to see.

This, at least, helped smooth the slightly ruffled mood I had caused in her when we’d met a few days before this. We had agreed to go swimming, and, as we walked to the tube, we met a German guy I knew. In general I prefer to move in the more local community, but this guy I met at the birthday party of another woman with whom I have developed a close relationship, Phoebe (Phoebe is a very Americanized woman, having spent many years in the country and having picked up many of its best qualities -- the confident, strong self-belief that can make Americans so admirable. She is one of my friends who gives me some minor confidence I do not purely see women as sex objects, for our relationship, though close (and though she is sexy) is platonic).


Anyhow, that night this German chap and I hit it off well, shared a good few beers and had a most enjoyable, relaxed evening with it. He was there with his longterm gf, also German (and, rarely for a white woman, I found her attractive).

But when I met him now, he was not with this gf, he was with a Chinese woman who was, of course, cuter, younger and sure more pliant than his German girlfriend. We talked a little while before going on our ways, and as I walked on I told Gloria a little about him, and that fact that his companion seemed to be an extra-curricular girlfriend. Gloria harrumphed, ‘I think that’s bad, I don’t like guys like that’ she said.


Of course I ought have ignored the hypocrisy, and was she a bit dearer to me I would have. But instead I said ‘Yeah, seeing two people at once, there’s no excuse for it.’ She got the point, it made her sulky, and she withdrew her hand.



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16 comments:

Anonymous said...

RE: your previous blog.

Damn you, chinabounder! i *always* send them home at night. you letting them stay over makes the rest of us look bad!

Anonymous said...

I have always loved the way how Western women will always get angry and resentful when you call them on their nonsense, and how their Chinese (Japanese for that matter too) sisters are no different.

Anonymous said...

you damn suck! you are not ashamed?

ChinaBounder's email: said...

...you damn suck! you are not ashamed?

Obviously not.

Anonymous said...

didn't have enough patience to read the whole post. only hope at least you have no aids. god bless the girls you have slept with no matter what their motivation is to do that.

Anonymous said...

You better turn into this instead it seems safer:http://www.revver.com/video/41097/

/Lois Lee

Anonymous said...

go and fcuk a tree while ur at it

Anonymous said...

hey,guys
those girls,they didn't get raped.
they did want to stay in his place.
so don't get that upset,since he was just describing the truth.

Anonymous said...

Don't feel so great just because you slept with some dirty chinese chicks. Well, I understand why you love these biatches even they look like shit, cuz they are still better than British bitches. Your British bitches all weigh over 300 pounds and their skin feels like sandpaper. Enjoy fucking some dirty chicks in Shanghai cuz they won't get fucked by decent Chinese guys anyway.

It ain't 100 years ago anymore.

Nowadays, British people = losers

Anonymous said...

假如,(虽然大多女的会说这种状况永不会发生),甲乙二群人,被困于沙漠渴的很痛苦,甲群人每人手里有一把钥匙,乙群人每人手里有一个锁着的水袋,两人一同才能开启水袋喝到水,如果都不喝水的话,根据天生的身体状况甲群人会更早痛苦,而乙群人只承认自己体力比较弱,正常情况下每月流几天血。乙群人温柔的声明开水袋的条件是这辈子只能和他/她本人喝水。有甲群人答应了,却发现这个乙群人不再温柔了而是不断提出新的要求,并同别的乙群人攀比起胜利果实来了。
若你是第三人,你是觉得哪群人更无耻?在都不完美的情况下。

男女开始时都骗了对方。男的说会一万年,女的没说自己的修养水平会下降。若是男的不说一万年女的就不给生殖器,而生理结构决定了男的比女的更早需要对方的生殖器。也就是说,开始时,女的要挟了男的。后来,男的后悔了,女的坚持要兑现那一万年,不然就闹,即使在后期女的自身水平的下降超出了任何人的想象。

女人靠什么生存?靠你以为她们(还)天真。

开苞3年后,女的修养水平会有一个非常大的下降;生孩子后,又会有一个非常大的下降。两次下降之后,在修养水平上来看,绝大部分女的基本没有人样了。

妇女解放了50年,妇女被压迫了2000年,难道2000年的智慧实践探索经验教训比不上50年的?难道2000年中的人都是傻子?

妇女同志的经济独立,不应仅仅是不依靠某一个男人的帮助,而应是不依靠所有男人的帮助,包括老头。

女人,若不需要被照顾,请明示;若需要被照顾,请服从到能平衡照顾。
又需要照顾又不服从到平衡又不明示的,就是骗子,骗子不配被尊重,不配谈平等,只配被将计就计。

男人说了实话,女人会愤怒但不会惊讶;女人说了实话,男人被吓死。女人的幸福全部建立在对自己真实想法的伪装上。

这就是女人成熟的地方,她们不去想权利和义务是否平等,需要权利的时候她们说应平等,说到义务的时候她们说自己弱小。因为她们知道,谈平等对女人来说是死路一条。我们能做的就是,当她们不想谈平等的时候,努力使她们的命运更悲苦。唉。

你去医院拔牙,要找医术高的,可一进屋,满屋子都是大夫,哪个医术高呀?那时候最好的方法,就是找个中年男大夫旁边等着啦。这不是我说出来的,你去医院看看变知。或者,你若是还支持不顾妇女基础的妇女解放的话,希望你看病时多支持女医生。等到排在男女医生后面的对伍一样长了,再来谈男女平等,妇女解放。

希望任何时候女的都不要用生殖器为自己谋利,即使方式可能很隐讳,即使男的有时候也支持。但这没人能做到,剩下的事情只能是希望男的记住还有这么一个说法,到时候能早点领悟。
公猴也到处播种,母猴也没像女人那样闹;
母猴也没有要求有房有车无贷才结婚,结婚之后能吃饱穿暖就行了不用事事攀比,相对于女人,基本上算是清纯的。
现在的状况是,男的仍然如同禽兽,女的却已经禽兽不如了。

有些大姐说,对配偶之外的性好奇女的也有。可强度相同么?你也从12岁到80岁都愿意为做爱而出精力出钱么?你也愿意为做爱陪70年的笑脸么?


“世上很难得有完美的观点,你若不赞同一个观点,最好的方式就是说出你的观点然后来比较。政府除外,因为政府收了税。”
好的观点:
1。基于逻辑而不是感觉;
2。能解释过去现在的事实,从比例上而不是举例上;
3。能更准确的预测未来。


“转贴,爱情是场梦
我们先从女人对男人的选择谈起。男女因为怀孕的差别,在几十万年的演化中产生很大的差异。男性必须尽量散布种子的特性在演化中居优势。女性必须承担怀孕和养育的责任,如果不慎重选择伴侣的特性,会导致后代灭绝(谈的是几十万年的事情,不是这几千年)。因而女性也存在欲望和心理满足的问题,所以女性慎重选择伴侣的特性在演化中居优势。
所以男性演化的结果天生就是追求者,女性演化的结果天生就是选择者。那么,当女生喜欢帅的、有钱有权的、身体魁梧的、懂得关怀的男人的时候,请不要怪她们现实,她们只是在执行大自然赋予的神圣职责——选择。
   她们现实,因为她们必须考虑怀孕和后代的养育。这些特性深藏大脑深处,不是意识上的。也就是说,即使一个没有受教育的女性,也会为有权力有能力的勇猛男性倾倒,这不须经过思考,而是潜藏基因里面,自然发生的。
   那么爱情又是什么呢?高级的哺乳类动物,养育子女的时间比较长。女性希望伴侣能够帮助自己觅食养育子女,保护和教育子女,因此女性任何能留住男人在身边的特性,都是人类演化的结果。爱,就是这个演化的结果。从大自然的角度来看,爱,就是留住男人来帮助养育后代的对象。至于女人的撒娇,床上的妖娆种种,读者应该能体会到其在演化中扮演的角色。
   而爱情对于男人来说又是什么呢?在爱情上,男人的宿命和狮子有些类似,尽管男性的占有欲并不保证他的贞洁,他可以认同自己有外遇,然后又对自己女人的行为吃醋。虽然用狮子做比喻并不十分恰当,但是狮子群都是以雌狮子为基础的。 2~18只雌狮子、小狮子和1~7只雄狮子形成一个狮子群。平均3年雄狮子会被改朝换代,也就是被外面来的雄狮子驱逐。不变的是雌狮子、小狮子和地盘。猎取食物主要靠雌狮子。小雄狮子到3岁的时候也要被驱逐出这个狮子群。
   结论是,当雄狮很可怜,基本上是到处流浪。运气好的可以冒死攻下一个狮群,过3年好日子。然后被更年轻力壮的雄狮子推翻,再度流浪。从演化的角度来看,雄狮子的斗争,胜者为王,保证了精子和后代的质量。雄狮子的流浪命运,就像蒲公英的花,是生物基因多样化的必要条件。
除此,雌狮子是不需要雄狮子的。
   爱情终究是一场“化学”的梦……
   但演化是场惨烈的竞争,女性也不是省油的灯,她们会挑懂得爱的男人(不会挑的在演化中居劣势)。因此男人在这场惨烈的竞争中,演化出爱的本领。因为有爱的男人比较容易获得女人接受。在得到女人之前,心中充满柔情蜜意,是货真价实的柔情蜜意。
   男性在漫长的演化过程中也是充满着矛盾的。如果要尽量去撒种,繁衍更多的后代,就不能停留一处(即一个女人处),但如果要得到一个女性为自己完成繁衍的职责,又必须让女性认为他会停留一处。另外,照顾家庭和后代的特性也具有演化的优势。
   结论是,爱情终究是一场“化学”的梦。性和爱密不可分,性会产生爱的化学物质,爱也会增强性的快乐。女人强调爱,是因为担负大自然的重要责任。她们应该有绝对的资格选择爱的对象。
   从对“爱情”本质的理解,可以发现,其实最古老婚姻,也无非是由一夜情而产生的多夜情。那一夜女人觉得愉快,产生对男人的信任,希望通过这个男人来传播自己的基因,于是用“爱情”留住了男人。而男人,为了使基因得到有效传播,自觉地和女人担负抚养后代的责任。这一留,也许就是很长时间,直到后代的长成,当然,这不妨碍男人去扩散基因传播。一旦别的女人也产生男人的后代,男人有可能会离开原来的女人而和现在女人一起抚养后代,这样一样,原来的女人就会产生物质保障上的危机,为了避免这种情况,原来的女人会邀请其他的女人和自己一起生活,在同一个男人的物质保障下一起抚养各自的后代。聪明的女人可能会担心新来的女人会夺走男人对自己后代的重视,于是她们很适时地帮助男人寻找其他的女人,借此来留住男人,使自己的后代在生活上不受歧视,《橘子红了》这部电视剧可以说把“妻妾成群”的原因说得很明白了。但是也有男人没有能力去占有更多女人,而性欲又非得满足不可,所以干脆和“孩子他妈”继续生活在一起。
   到了现代,文明的发展,科学的进步使女人在获得物质保障的能力上越来越大,已经不再需要男人才能衣食无忧,但是,后代却需要共同抚养。如何留住男人又不使别的女人来侵犯自己应该获得的保障(权益,包括独占这个男人,享受应该获得的性欲满足的权力),那就是道德和法律的制约。
   结论是,女人有权利去选择符合自己要求的男人,这是天经地义的自然演化结果。而女人能够留住男人,却是社会文明进步的结果。
   这里不难发现某些因果轮回,人类的延续使社会文明得以发展,社会文明的进步使女人能够在占有男人上获得道德伦理上的优势。也就是说,女人为人类的延续做出了巨大的贡献,于是人类以文明的发展来回报女人。”

Anonymous said...

do your fuck as you wish, but don't talk about how other chinese peolpe behaves, as we see two dogs fucking in the street. i can understand why u don't fell guilty.

Anonymous said...

I think you should have some respect for Chinese.
At least they offered your a job.
If you don't agree, please go home.

Anonymous said...

All this animosity,Hehe.... typical chinese response.Keep on bounding dude.Fan from Malaysia

Anonymous said...

Haha, what a laugh! What a joke!
There ain't no gentlemen or ladies, now there are only pigs and whores...

Anonymous said...

I found your pieces quite
interesting, partly the story and partly because of your penmanship. I do believe such types of encounter happen in many societies. I know in U.S for sure( a Puritan country, right?). I believe the most important aspect in such encounter is mutual enjoyment. Bad mouthing other males, be it boyfriends, spouses or other Chinese males are not called for. Circumstances can be very complicated. Sex is but a part of living. In addition, Chinese being a fast evolving society, people have to learn new rules in the run. From your perspective, mainland China may seems so fucked up but I do believe every society around the world has its own set of problems. Nobody knows the sure way to change it for the better, good intention is not enough. For sure, there are brave souls trying hard in all corners of the society who deserving our respect.

Anonymous said...

bravo bravo...I have enjoyed reading your stories, they are very similar to my own in beijing albeit the girls there are a little more uptight than in Shanghai...none the less, the similarities are uncanny...i could name numerous other British guys doing the same as you my friend, keep up the good work and keeping flying the flag for good old England. China still has a lot to learn.