Cybersex

Making love (and especially for the first time) was of course a bigger deal for Lucy than for me. So later the next day when we chatted online, she wanted to hear those three words, words she had said three times during our revels; and, since she directly asked for them, I supplied them. And in subsequent conversations, she began to fall -- or had fallen – in love with me. I should have discouraged it, but she was such a hot fuck that she was quite a lot in my mind too.

I guess I ought not have told her those words, since they were not true. But at the time it seemed the easiest way to proceed. What worried me more was that, fearful of pregnancy, she told me she had gone to a pharmacy, told them she ‘did not want to have a baby.’ They asked if she had made love; she said yes; and they gave her the morning after pill. I feel uncomfortable with this. I was careful not to come in her; there is no need for her to fill her body with the hormones. And I guess it was a final mark of her inexperience. She knows so little.

What’s terrifying about that is that she is a teacher and, to judge both by what she has told me and the recommendations I have polished up on her pending university application (aiming for Princeton), a good teacher, prize winning, working wonders in her class. And yet ignorant about the most basic functions of sex!

What kind of future does that point to..? What an emotionally blind, crippled, stunted society this can be, and how deceitful and ignorant the education the children receive! This coyness about sex is a crime, and China does not even have the inane excuse of the Christians for whom sex is, laughably, a sin. But it is such danger, it is neglect, it is a form of proxy abuse. Terrible.

Another sweet memory from our night together; she was sitting astride me, resting from the lust with which she’d been riding me, and we talked. I told her that some guys made love to two women at the same time. `And the women often make love to each other, too..’ I said. Her eyes widened in disbelief at this.. but not disgust; just disbelief, it seemed something the mere possibility of which had not even occurred to her. She shook her head at the very idea of it.. but yet I could see she was not rejecting it out of hand, that I thought maybe I could explore with her. At the time I did have an idea who might be the `other woman,’ a married friend of mine who has talked to me of interest in such things. But I got bored of Lucy before I ever tried to arrange anything like that.

Boredom set in fairly soon; by the time of a third online chat I was losing interest fast – all the more so in that case because I just wanted to eat dinner, loaf, watch a film (The Revenger’s Tragedy, which was moderately well done). Sometimes just sitting at home taking it easy is more agreeable than flirting and chasing. But only sometimes.

As it turned out, it was well worth passing the pleasantries with her, for she was staying with a friend, and she had a webcam. Part of the way through our chat, she changed into sleepwear, a pink nightdress. Her friend was still up and around but soon went off to do her own thing… and so what came next was, I guess, obvious. First I asked her to stand, so I could see her whole body, and she was pliable enough for that. And so after a bit more increasingly suggestive chat, I asked her to take off the nightdress, and she did so, so that I could see her breasts – which were bigger and fuller than those of many women I have been with.

Breast size is something a lot of Chinese women give a great deal of thought to; many of my lovers have said at some point in our lovemaking ‘My breasts are too small.’ It is true that on average Chinese women have petite breasts – which is something I rather like, as it happens – but I guess most guys must prefer them larger, for no matter how much I tell my lover I like her breasts fine just the way they are, she is seldom convinced.

Mona, for example, is much worried by the small size of hers. She used to be a lover, and is now close friend (and indeed I am rather proud that she is still a friend, that we have a close, non-sexual and very open relationship. It is one of the few things that gives me hope I am not a complete bastard when it comes to my relationships with women.) She had considered breast enlargement surgery (which is pretty popular here) but instead has taken the traditional Chinese medicine approach, which involves weekly massage sessions and various herbal creams. On the whole I am skeptical of TCM; all that hot and cold food stuff is so much superstition. Believing that tiger bone will give one the strength of a tiger is to misunderstand nature – it’s seeing the natural world as an allegory. TCM assumes that the order our human understanding imposes on the world is a reflection of reality. But eating from the tortoise will not bring longevity, nor will consuming the cheetah bring speed. To believe it is to see the world like a story, a fairly tale…

And yet….

Mona’s breasts do look a lot perkier lately, there’s no denying that.

Anyhow, on camera Lucy was shy but excited. I asked her to show me her panties, which she did; and then to take them off. And she did. So I got naked too, and now I could see the excitement on her face. She really got into it, began to touch herself, gently then more actively, standing up close to the computer, showing me her pussy as she masturbated.. until she came. It was pretty hot.

Me: Mmm, oh, I do so wanna be with u now!

L: I closed the door

Me: u could take off ur nightdress again!

L: ha ha, I am safe, my friend fell asleep

L: I have to go to washroom just a minute

L: wait

Me: ok, dear. But… I would like to watch u in the washroom!

L: Ohhh… I would feel ill…

Me: I can see I’ll have to open up your mind a lot more

L: I am conservative

Me: did u not like it when we had a shower together?

L: Yes, I liked having a shower with you.. I like a man beside me.. washing me

Me: But, dear, to be honest… a lot of guys do find it sexy to see a woman小便.. Oh, you’re naked again, cool!

L: Yes, I closed the door.. my god…

Me: O, i like that.. oh, yes, let me see ur panties, dear!

L: Panties? What does that mean?

Me: It means `knickers' or underwear.. that’s right.. oh, cute…wow, I wanna fuck u right now, damn, u r so sexy!

L: I need sex now!!!!!!!!! I need it now!!! My god, I made myself climax

Me: Great! Was it good? Were you noisy???

L: But there is no man here! I need a man, now

Yeah, it was sexy. She really let herself go, her pussy close to the camera and then her mouth as I brought my cock close to the lens. Yes, sure, as she pretended to suck and lick and kiss it could have descended into farce, could have gone cold water. But it stayed sexy. And I did want to fuck her, so I arranged to meet her the following Saturday.

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