ChinaBounder Weekender

The Olympic opening ceremony… astounding. I was half expecting some tacky nonsense along the lines of the Lunar New Year TV specials that CCTV puts on. But this was in a different league.

Now, sure, I part want to ask how much all that cost, how many millions of dollars for an hour of spectacle, money spent on show in a nation where millions lack basic health care or education. I want to ask how many hundreds of hours of rehearsal that all took – rehearsal under obligation, not choice. And the whole idea of spectacle – spectacle as a planned, coordinated event – has some uncomfortably fascist overtones to it.

And the ceremony did a pretty good job of reminding just how great China was in the past, surveying the four major inventions, the compass, paper, gunpowder and printing, and that great individual, Zheng He, a man who, had he had more voice, would have utterly changed China’s destiny. Where did that China go?

The modern era, naturally, was neglected. After all, what is there to say about the Communists? They have done nothing for China except made China suffer. Indeed, when it came to the current era, out came the lies and bullshit, all of a piece with CPC style – spinning this as the ‘green games,’ claiming China cares for its environment. Arrant bollocks, that, just like the other standard lie they always trot out at such times – namely, all China’s ethnic minorities being one big happy family.

But all that to one side – this was a virtuoso display, a triumph of planning and coordination and, indeed, imagination, something China does not always do so well. Yes, some creative stuff here, though with one or two slightly random left turns such as Sarah Brightman (though she did sing in Mandarin, which deserves a nod.) And while I suspect many of those 15,000 performers involved did not always do so willingly, there is still pride and awe to be had out of performing with such skill to an audience of billions. I’m sure the UK’s opening ceremony in four years’ time will come nowhere close to that.

So, yes, a fantastic opening ceremony and one that does indeed live up to China’s aspirations of impressing the entire world.

But what about the rest of it? Looking back to my ten Olympic predictions, it’s time for a review of some of them.

7. Chinese spectators will boo and jeer any Japanese athlete who wins gold.

No golds won yet, of course. But the mood has already been set -- the ‘welcoming’ Chinese audience just got in a little warm-up, booing the American athletes as they walked out into the stadium during te opening ceremony. There’s China’s sporting spirit for you.

6. At some point in time during broadcasts from China there will be a sensational event (in the eyes of the Chinese government) resulting in a blackout of TV transmission signals. China will claim a band of ‘terrorists’ from Xinjiang or Tibet were about to hijack the TV signal with the help of ‘foreign elements.’

Half way there. Beijing is busy stoking fear of the Other, fear of Muslims from Xinjiang. Beijing has paraded the ‘terrorist threats’ from its western colony. Expect that drum to be beaten much harder in the next two weeks.

And lesser ‘threats’ are showing up too – the pro-Tibet banner unveiled recently by two Western activists in sight of the stadium, for example. Both people were deported, of course, as was another activist, Phill Bartell. His ‘crime’ was putting up a poster reading ‘Tibet will be free.’ Three more Americans were detained for questioning China’s one child policy. Others were detained for holding prayers in public and calling for greater religious freedom. One woman was threatened with jail and told she’d be unable to see her children – and she was not even an activist. But she was Tibetan – and the Tibetans, like the Uighurs, are treated with fear and suspicion by the Han. This kind of shit will continue throughout the next two weeks (and indefinitely beyond that). The Olympic Games will be held strictly on the terms of the CPC. China’s claim to respect free speech is a lie.

5. All China’s top leaders will attend the Olympics and will be seen to have new coiffures and dye-jobs.

Check. Camera close up on Hu Jintao. I’ll admit he at least tried to crack a smile, but he couldn’t pull it off. So he relapsed into default mode – stiff waxwork, barely moving, no hint of emotion on his face.

2. Beijing’s Special Forces police will be involved in a shoving match with NBC or some other Western media concerning where they move the broadcast trucks, what time they are broadcasting, who they are interviewing, or some minor action that the broadcast team considers a democratic right.

The crackdown on press freedom is continuing apace. There have been a few showy demonstrations of ‘press freedom,’ for example a number of blocked websites being opened up. But even that shows the communist mindset – the sites were opened just before the beginning of the games and they’ll sure as shit be closed off again a few minutes after the last strains of the closing ceremony have died away.

Already two Japanese journalists were rousted by Chinese paramilitary police, beaten and kicked for merely trying to explore the veracity of Chinese claims about a ‘terrorist incident’ in Xinjiang. Police in the region also forced their way into the hotel room of an AFP reporter and forced him to delete pictures he had taken of the scene of the attack. There should be no surprise that this happened. The Chinese security services are largely manned by thugs. To imagine they will be able to change their style, even for the two weeks of the games, is naïve in the extreme.

1. ChinaBounder Olympic Edition panties will outsell all other brands of panties throughout China.

Well… they’re not quite outselling other brands yet. But they’re surely getting more popular. I hear from my sources (ok, former lovers) that ChinaBounder brand panties are now on sale in cities from Guangzhou in the south to Harbin in the far north. And indeed one enterprising journalist, I am told, has been following up on this story. But more of that over the weekend…


And, now that the Olympics has begun... you know the drill if you're a visitor in China. 'T' for Tibet and 'X' for Xinjiang.